As a father I am continually confronted with who I really am. What I have discovered is, while I adjust and change based on my perception, I also have to consider the experience and reality of my family.
I have considered doing a potentially harmful experiment (harmful to my ego). It would involve reversing roles and allowing my children to play the part of being a parent. My question is, “What would I discover about myself as a parent?”.
This was all prompted by the fact that my middle daughter questioned my wife about the amount of time that I spend with my other children. At her young age, she has perceived that I spend more one-on-one time with her older sister. Now, there are multiple reasons why that is the case from my perspective. However, these reasons really don’t matter that much to my middle daughter. The important thing is that in her reality, I spend more time with her sister.
Do I agree? Do I disagree? It doesn’t really matter what I think. It is her reality and that is what matters. So, the important question I need to consider is, “What can I do to change or minimize that reality?”. I can not ignore her experience. I can not disregard her reality. It would not benefit either of us to just let it go.
Most of the time our perception of a situation is only part of the story. We have to consider the experience of others, communicate, and then adjust appropriately.
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I just wanted to say that your blog is a wonderful & insightful place to visit. The subjects chosen and the information you provide in reference to each is very uplifting and encouraging to read, offering real, down to earth direction to those who can relate. I am very proud of your work as a friend from long ago and hope you are, too. Keep it up & best wishes to you always!
Your former fellow Northwood Student,
Karen Reeves Parker
Thanks Karen. I’m glad you commented. I have been pleasantly encouraged and pleased by the “unexpected” people who take time to read the blog.